LOVE

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Do not seek love. Do not leave yourself for love, and search for love in the other. Love is not an object, it cannot be given nor taken away. It cannot be found nor lost. Love is not a feeling, a state, or a peak experience, but what you are, presence itself.

Do not confuse love with attraction. Attraction comes and goes, can fade over time. Do not confuse love with longing. Longing is impermanent, transitory. Do not confuse love with feelings of bliss, pleasure, an excited nervous system. These passing states cannot last; it is not in their nature. Even promises, given with such certainty today, with the best of intentions, can fade tomorrow, or be broken.

Love, however, does not fade. Love cannot diminish over time.

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Love is not a commodity, a shifting form. Love is a field, a field within and without us, a field in which thoughts, feelings, even the most seemingly solid plans for the future, can appear and disappear. Love holds hope as much as loss, excitement as much as boredom, crushing disappointment as much as bliss. Love is the field for the shifting forms, the ground that holds us as we walk, sit, talk or do not, feel what we feel in each other’s presence, go about the business of our day, plan, eat, hope, say goodbye, try to love.

Love is greater than us. We do not generate it with words and deeds, or even intentions, but we are continually embraced by it, held in its vastness, no matter what we do, or do not.

We are married, we divorce; we are friends, we are lovers; we break up, we break together; we are born, we die; the field endures.

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Nobody has ever given us love; that is the great illusion. We have simply remembered the field in each other’s presence, sometimes, recognised eternity in the midst of the everyday, then credited another. Love never came from outside of us; we simply touched our own presence, fell into the love that we are, and cannot not be.

And nobody ever took love away from us; we simply forgot the field, and ‘blamed’ the other, and looked for love again, feeling its absence, lost in a narrative of ‘lost love’. Yet love was there, even in its apparent absence; it was present, even in the loss. It cannot be broken; a wave cannot crush the Ocean.

Do not seek love, do not look for the light, but be it, offer it; the joy of loving another is infinitely greater than the joy of fearfully clinging to another’s love, for deep down you know it is only an illusion that what you have always longed for could ever have come from outside of you. You are the One; you have always been the One.

The search ends exactly where it began – in presence.

You realise you are love itself, and this changes everything; love is yours, forever.

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Things We Forget To Say “Thank You” For…

So that’s what I want to reflect on today – some quick reminders about the things you, too, likely forget to say “thank you” for:

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  1. “Thank you for life’s surprises.” – Notice and cherish life’s surprises.  Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.  So take a deep breath when you’re rejected from something good.  It often means you’re being redirected to something better.  Be patient.  Be positive.  Keep going.

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2. “Thank you for the truth I deal with every day.” – Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths.  But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.  And beware of half-truths too – you may have gotten a hold of the wrong half.  Open your eyes.  You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished or expected them to be.  Sometimes it’s hard to accept the truth when the lies were exactly what you wanted to know, but be strong.  Life is too short to live a lie.

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3. “Thank you for the tough times that taught me important lessons.” – God allows you to experience the low points of life in order to teach you lessons that you could learn no other way.

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4.“Thank you for the challenges I must overcome today.” – The brick walls in life are there for a reason.  They are not there to keep you out.  They are there to give you a chance to show how badly you want something.  Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as you do.  They are there to stop the other people.  There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one step at a time. 

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5. “Thank you for giving me the courage to continue.” – Courage isn’t having the strength to go on; it’s going on even when you don’t have strength.  And remember, it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

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6. “Thank you for giving me the strength to smile.” – Anyone can be happy sometimes.  It takes a human being with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that naturally makes us weep.

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7.“Thank you for the beauty that remains.” – Even when times are really tough, don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.  

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Some Positive Thoughts ♥

1.  Look at life as a journey and enjoy the ride.  Get the most out of the detours and realize they’re sometimes necessary.

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2.  Do your best, but if what you’re doing has caused you discouragement, try a different approach.  Be passionate about the process, but don’t be so attached to the outcome.

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3.  Wish the best for everyone, with no personal strings attached.  Applaud someone else’s win as much as you would your own.

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4.  Trust that there’s a divine plan, that we don’t always know what’s best for us.  A disappointment now could mean a victory later, so don’t be disappointed.  There is usually a reason.

5.  Ask no more of yourself than the best that you can do, and be satisfied with that.  Be compassionate towards yourself as well as others.  Know your calling, your gift, and do it well.

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6.  Don’t worry about something after it’s done; it’s out of your hands then, too late, over!  Learn the lesson and move on.

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7.  Have the attitude that no one, except you, owes you anything.  Give without expecting a thank-you in return.  But when someone does something for you, be appreciative of even the smallest gesture.

8.  Choose your thoughts or your thoughts will choose you; they will free you or keep you bound.  Educate your spirit and give it authority over your feelings.
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9.  Judge no one, and disappointment and forgiveness won’t be an issue.  No one can let you down if you’re not leaning on them.  People can’t hurt you unless you allow them to.
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10.  Love anyway. . . for no reason. . . and give. . . just because.

Donna Fargo

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Reminders…

1. Let people you love go if they need it. Doing what is best for a person even if it breaks you is what loving someone really is.
2. Forgive people who make valid apologies. Really forgive them. It will help both of you.

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3. Not everyone deserves a second chance. Learn who to trust again and who to move on from.
4. Don’t exercise. Do recreational activity. Know that one is about punishing your body for not being naturally what society deems perfect, and the other is about enjoying something that coincidentally involves moving around.

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5. Never deny yourself when it comes to food. Eating is not a sin and should never be associated with guilt, greed, or gluttony.
6. Eating is wonderful, delicious, joyous, experimental, strengthening, nourishing, and sociable.
7. Don’t regret any choices that you made. It was exactly what you wanted at that time and your decision would never have been any different. If it turned out badly, use the experience to learn from your mistakes, move forward, and not make them again in the future.

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8. Be open and honest, always. Communicate what you are feeling to other people. It makes you look strong, not weak, and it will make your relationships deeper and more solid.
9. Write letters to people that deserve it. Write letters of love. Write letters of thanks. They will be treasured.
10. Read a lot. Always have a book by your bed. It will expand your imagination, teach you new things, and act as a place you can escape to when life is difficult.
11. Listen to people who are sad, and really hear them. Make an effort to genuinely understand them and empathize with the way they are feeling. Help them in ways you would like to be helped.
12. Honor your body. Respond to what it is telling you, always. If it needs fuel, eat. If it is tired, rest. Appreciate your body for keeping you alive even when you treated it like the enemy.

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13. If you love someone, tell them. You might not get another opportunity, and you should never let yourself live with a “what if”.
14. Stand up for yourself, and stand up for others. Do not be someone who stays silent in the face of injustice.
15. Travel whenever you can. It is important, exciting, invaluable, and liberating, to explore the world.

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16. Live life for yourself. Learn to say yes, and learn to say no.
Don’t ever forget that you are worth a hell of a lot. Cut people out of your life who don’t appreciate that, and hold those close that do.

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Ten Thoughts to Help You Avoid Discouragement

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1.  Look at life as a journey and enjoy the ride.  Get the most out of the detours and realize they’re sometimes necessary.

2.  Do your best, but if what you’re doing has caused you discouragement, try a different approach.  Be passionate about the process, but don’t be so attached to the outcome.

3.  Wish the best for everyone, with no personal strings attached.  Applaud someone else’s win as much as you would your own.

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4.  Trust that there’s a divine plan, that we don’t always know what’s best for us.  A disappointment now could mean a victory later, so don’t be disappointed.  There is usually a reason.

5.  Ask no more of yourself than the best that you can do, and be satisfied with that.  Be compassionate towards yourself as well as others.  Know your calling, your gift, and do it well.

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6.  Don’t worry about something after it’s done; it’s out of your hands then, too late, over!  Learn the lesson and move on.

7.  Have the attitude that no one, except you, owes you anything.  Give without expecting a thank-you in return.  But when someone does something for you, be appreciative of even the smallest gesture.

8.  Choose your thoughts or your thoughts will choose you; they will free you or keep you bound.  Educate your spirit and give it authority over your feelings.

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9.  Judge no one, and disappointment and forgiveness won’t be an issue.  No one can let you down if you’re not leaning on them.  People can’t hurt you unless you allow them to.

10.  Love anyway. . . for no reason. . . and give. . . just because.

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Donna Fargo

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Forever = till death tears us apart…

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You don’t have to have the perfect job, successful career, a house and whatever else you think you need. You don’t have to be fully established to fully commit or get married. You just need to be making progress towards your goals and dreams. One of the wrong things I’ve been taught and so have many is that you have to have be fully independent to build something with someone so whatever each other bring to the table is extra. Well that’s good but it’s being done with a fear that the person may leave so therefore let me have plan B. What happened to building with each other, what happened to depending on each other? 
People don’t see that but it’s no different than guys and girls building something with someone they are interested in yet have talking buddies as back up, it fits in all this side chick, side dude idea. We are quick to make sure to have an open door if things fail making it hard to succeed because failure is always on your mind. 
If I have to get a prenup with the person I’m marrying I’m not marrying them. Love doesn’t have a plan B. Love is we are going to make things work no matter what. I need someone with the same mindset so giving up and running isn’t an option. Even when we aren’t happy. So with the fear of divorce, the fear of being left and a plan B sowed into us by modern society. We can’t help but make sure “we are good” if anything goes wrong. We spend so much time investing our hearts and promising forever only to live as if forever doesn’t exist. (Forever= till death tears us apart). Defeats the purpose. Love becomes a just words and marriage becomes more of a contract than anything else.

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8 mantras that we all should repeat daily…

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1.In gratitude lies my blessing- In the heart of thankfulness is a host of blessings waiting for you to seize. Stay filled with a heart of gratitude.

2.  My greatest challenges created my resilience– Challenges have a way of making us aware and teaches us things that we need to learn. I found my resilience in my greatest challenge.

3. I release the need to control the outcome– too much time is spent on controlling a situations outcome release the need and affirm that all is as it should be and always works in your favor.

4. I share my happiness with those around me– Happiness should be shared, you never know you may be saving someone’s life.

5. I will watch my words– words are like sweet honey, or venom. Choose your words wisely and let them be supportive, uplifting, and alluring.

6. My body is my vehicle– your body is to be well kept and filled with all things good. Practice the art of self- love and care.

7. I am enough– Just as I am there is so much value in me. I am more than meets the eye.

8. I am filled with love and compassion– Love is the key to heal our world, and compassion is its sister. The more love and compassion I have the more I am creating an impact in my world.

Today begin to create your personal mantras and learn them, breathe them, and recite them. You are creating a new and improved reality that is filled with all that you desire. Humor me and let me not be the only one who had to rewire her brain and do some massive surgery to create the life that I deem dope, prosperous, fulfilling and beautiful.

 

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