Archive for relasyon

Things We Forget To Say “Thank You” For…

So that’s what I want to reflect on today – some quick reminders about the things you, too, likely forget to say “thank you” for:

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  1. “Thank you for life’s surprises.” – Notice and cherish life’s surprises.  Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.  So take a deep breath when you’re rejected from something good.  It often means you’re being redirected to something better.  Be patient.  Be positive.  Keep going.

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2. “Thank you for the truth I deal with every day.” – Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths.  But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.  And beware of half-truths too – you may have gotten a hold of the wrong half.  Open your eyes.  You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished or expected them to be.  Sometimes it’s hard to accept the truth when the lies were exactly what you wanted to know, but be strong.  Life is too short to live a lie.

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3. “Thank you for the tough times that taught me important lessons.” – God allows you to experience the low points of life in order to teach you lessons that you could learn no other way.

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4.“Thank you for the challenges I must overcome today.” – The brick walls in life are there for a reason.  They are not there to keep you out.  They are there to give you a chance to show how badly you want something.  Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as you do.  They are there to stop the other people.  There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one step at a time. 

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5. “Thank you for giving me the courage to continue.” – Courage isn’t having the strength to go on; it’s going on even when you don’t have strength.  And remember, it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

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6. “Thank you for giving me the strength to smile.” – Anyone can be happy sometimes.  It takes a human being with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that naturally makes us weep.

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7.“Thank you for the beauty that remains.” – Even when times are really tough, don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.  

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Forever = till death tears us apart…

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You don’t have to have the perfect job, successful career, a house and whatever else you think you need. You don’t have to be fully established to fully commit or get married. You just need to be making progress towards your goals and dreams. One of the wrong things I’ve been taught and so have many is that you have to have be fully independent to build something with someone so whatever each other bring to the table is extra. Well that’s good but it’s being done with a fear that the person may leave so therefore let me have plan B. What happened to building with each other, what happened to depending on each other? 
People don’t see that but it’s no different than guys and girls building something with someone they are interested in yet have talking buddies as back up, it fits in all this side chick, side dude idea. We are quick to make sure to have an open door if things fail making it hard to succeed because failure is always on your mind. 
If I have to get a prenup with the person I’m marrying I’m not marrying them. Love doesn’t have a plan B. Love is we are going to make things work no matter what. I need someone with the same mindset so giving up and running isn’t an option. Even when we aren’t happy. So with the fear of divorce, the fear of being left and a plan B sowed into us by modern society. We can’t help but make sure “we are good” if anything goes wrong. We spend so much time investing our hearts and promising forever only to live as if forever doesn’t exist. (Forever= till death tears us apart). Defeats the purpose. Love becomes a just words and marriage becomes more of a contract than anything else.

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TOP 14 Reasons to Celebrate your SINGLENESS THIS VALENTINES DAY

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1. Because you’re so brave, you’d rather walk alone than with someone who is unworthy of you.

2. Because you realize that you are the cake and a relationship is the icing…With or without the icing, a cake is still a cake!

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3. Because you’ve created a life that you love and feel no need to be rescued from.

4. Because you pay your own bills, plan your own day, chart your own path, & make your own way.

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5. Because you love when you’re ready.. not because you’re lonely.

6. Because you live life on your terms… and you don’t apologize.

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7. Because you know that you have to learn to love you before you ask someone  else to.

8. Because “good enough” isn’t good enough for you.

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9. Because you’ve decided that whether or not love ever arrives…. you’re going to thrive.
10. Because your happiness, worth & self-confidence is not dependent on your relationship status.

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11. Because you trust GOD’s perfect timing & you know that  every moment of the wait is preparing you for the one you’ve been waiting for
12. Because for you… settling is not an option.

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13. Because you know it’s no one’s job to complete you, fix you, or validate you. It takes a healthy “me” to create a healthy “we”.
14. Because before you’re ready to wear a diamond… you want to become one.

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#listeningtomyheartnotmymind!

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It’s finally over, he broke up with you.
After promising each other countless times that you will never give up on each other finally it all caved in.
Heartbroken you feel broken.
Words can’t put together how disappointed and painful this is.
But you can’t let him see how devastated you are.
You go an act as if everything is okay, played it so well you deserve an Oscar.
To give your facade more credibility, you start to hang with Oscar the guy you told him you’d never date.
You want him to see you happy with a possible candidate If not more
You want to hurt him in revenge, show him you settled for him and could’ve done better
But you didn’t and it’s over with
You don’t see how you’re just prolonging your hurt.
Instead of dealing with the pain you spend most of your time hiding it
Instead of working on yourself, you spend time picking out who you will look best with to piss off your ex
Instead of falling in love with you, you fall into a relationship with no potential
You later on convince yourself that you fell in love when you really found someone who caught you when you were tripping.
Still in pain, still haven’t moved on mentally now you’re jumping from relationships to relationships trying to forget that ex.
When you finally stop trying this so called love race, you finally look back and see how much pain you’ve added to that pain.
Now consumed by inflicted pain, all you can can conclude to is, LOVE IS VAIN

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Things Happy Couples DON’T Do :) <3

Things Happy Couples DON’T Do:

Sometimes, building a solid healthy relationship isn’t just about what partners do, but what they don’t do.

Here are the things that you won’t find in the habits of happy couples.

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Discourage each other.

Two people who love and care for each other would never attempt to discourage their partner or hold them back in life. They encourage and support each other when it comes to chasing after goals and dreams.

Holding someone else back while in a relationship will only lead to resentment in the long run – ironically, loosening your grip often keeps someone closer.

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Play mind games.

Even something as simple as “how long do I wait before I call?” goes out the window when you’re with the right person who is mature and understands you. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There will be no games or manipulation when building a solid foundation for a relationship.

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Doubt each others feelings.

In a happy relationship, both partners know how much they mean to each other. Open communication and affection are important to minimizing insecurities and doubts.

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Stop trying.

You know you’ve found a quality partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them…long after they’ve got you.

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Brush issues under the rug.

No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the challenges you face together are what make you stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. No problem can be extinguished unless it is faced, and couples who care for each other will be mature enough to have mature discussions and reach a conclusion.

When feelings are hidden, the other partner won’t know what they need to do or change in order to keep the other happy, so nothing will improve.

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Snoop around.

One of the key ingredients to a happy relationship is trust, and people who trust each other don’t invade each others’ privacy by snooping around. There should be no need for a password protected phone or deleting your Facebook chat history. Trusting couples should be open books to one another and will have no use for being sneaky.

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Dig up the past.

We all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Some experiences for better, and others for worse. Happy, mature couples understand that about each other and don’t use each others’ pasts as ammunition in arguments or to start issues.

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Let things get stale.

Both inside and outside of the bedroom, it’s important that neither partner gets bored or feels as though things are getting stale. Often times intimacy in the bedroom is actually built outside of it through romantic gestures, showing of appreciation and affection, and always letting your partner know how much they mean to you.

Happiness in relationships is built on communication, trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. These are some of the cornerstones of love – without one, the other cannot exist.

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Think positive and positive things will happen.

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Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Most of what they assume is wrong. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

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Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

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Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

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Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

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Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.

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June thoughts…

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It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough. – Daniell Koepke

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If you’re laying in bed wrapped up in sheets of miserable thought, go to sleep.
If thumbing through old messages only cause your heart to ache and long for something unattainable, erase them.
If it hurts to keep everything you’re feeling bottled up inside, let it out.
If you’re clinging onto someone that doesn’t treat you like you’re worth the world, let them go
Because sometimes we choose to believe that things are only indistinguishable shades of gray when in reality, life is more black and white than it seems.
If you’re unhappy with the way you are living your life,
Change it…..

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It’s such a scary thing giving your heart to someone, because you never know what they’re going to do with it. Let alone, what they’re really doing behind closed doors… The mind is the most private place in the entire world and you’re never going to know what’s going on inside someone’s head, unless they truthfully tell you. So in order to make things work, people need to learn self control first and train their brain to fight temptation before they even think about being in a committed relationship. Discipline may seem painful to some, but later on brings peace to those who are well trained. There is no better luxury than being safe with the person you love. Especially when this person has the ability to break your heart in seconds, but instead chooses to protect. – Melissa Molomo.

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