Archive for lav life

Heart Month

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I hope this is the person you fall in love with and who falls in love with you:

Who looks into your eyes and see you for everything you are and still loves you for everything you are not.

Who never lets you fall asleep questioning who you are to them.

Who never lets the doubt of being unfaithful creep into your heart.

Who is always willing to show you off because they are so damn proud to have you.

Who appreciates you and never makes you feel like what you do for them goes unnoticed.

Who makes you laugh every damn day because they love to see you smile.

I hope you find the one person who is your absolute best friend.

Who makes you feel like you have a place and reason for being on this earth.

Who wants to help you grow and live up to your full potential.

Who spanks your ass and thinks you’re the sexiest person in the world.

Who will dance with your in the kitchen and sing with you in the shower.

Who brings you soup when you’re sick and does what they can to make you feel better.

Who wakes up on a Tuesday morning before you go to work and leaves the coffee on for you to wake up to.

Who never ever leaves the house without giving you a kiss.

Who cares about your health and your well-being more than your reflection in the mirror.

Who will be there by your side on the days that you hate to face alone.

Who will make you laugh when you feel like shutting down.

I’ll let you in on a secret- every day won’t be a good one. You’re going to have fights. Some days, you’ll be so annoyed with each other.

You will feel overwhelmed with life but none of this means that this person loves you any less.

If you go to bed ever feeling like they are not a blessing, they are not right for you.

If you can find someone who makes you feel like you are beautiful, deserving, and irreplaceable. Don’t ever leave.

This is person who will love you with every piece of their heart, every fiber of their being, and till their last dying breath.

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Forever = till death tears us apart…

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You don’t have to have the perfect job, successful career, a house and whatever else you think you need. You don’t have to be fully established to fully commit or get married. You just need to be making progress towards your goals and dreams. One of the wrong things I’ve been taught and so have many is that you have to have be fully independent to build something with someone so whatever each other bring to the table is extra. Well that’s good but it’s being done with a fear that the person may leave so therefore let me have plan B. What happened to building with each other, what happened to depending on each other? 
People don’t see that but it’s no different than guys and girls building something with someone they are interested in yet have talking buddies as back up, it fits in all this side chick, side dude idea. We are quick to make sure to have an open door if things fail making it hard to succeed because failure is always on your mind. 
If I have to get a prenup with the person I’m marrying I’m not marrying them. Love doesn’t have a plan B. Love is we are going to make things work no matter what. I need someone with the same mindset so giving up and running isn’t an option. Even when we aren’t happy. So with the fear of divorce, the fear of being left and a plan B sowed into us by modern society. We can’t help but make sure “we are good” if anything goes wrong. We spend so much time investing our hearts and promising forever only to live as if forever doesn’t exist. (Forever= till death tears us apart). Defeats the purpose. Love becomes a just words and marriage becomes more of a contract than anything else.

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When it’s time to let go

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A lot of people regardless of their sign, believe that holding on, infinitely, are signs of love, courage, and strength. But there are times when it takes a lot more strength to realize when it’s time to let go and actually follow through with it. Not every man/woman or thing is meant to be in our lives forever. Once it’s over, Use that down time to reflect and evaluate you and what you need to be happy, think about the relationship as a whole and what you got from it then move on. You can’t make anyone love you or be a part of your life. What is meant to be will always be. But don’t miss out on “THE ONE” because you are too busy dwelling on the maybe’s and what if’s of yesterday.

A great relationship consist of 2 things. Appreciating what you share in common, and respecting each others differences. Never change because it’s what THEY want or think is best for you. Pretending will only make you miserable in the long run. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone used to be than it is to fill the space of who you used to be.

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ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! Watch for people who tell you what they think you should hear. A persons actions speaks the whole TRUTH. Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. Pay attention because people will reveal themselves slowly!

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today. Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

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Forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. Big challenges prepare ordinary people for extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – either for experience or as a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it. The best thing you can do in most situations is to follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing good will ever happen.

Realize that it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken either. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing stronger means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and circumstances, and finding something different that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what LIVING is all about. Don’t just settle for the default settings in life, when you can customize absolutely everything.

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Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back. Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present. Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place. Let it GO! You must accept the end of something in order to build something new. So close some old doors today. Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere. Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of a new beginning.

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If you feel like you need to let something go, but you simply haven’t been able to do so, know that you’re not alone. Accepting what is, letting go, and moving on are skills that all of us must learn when facing the realities of life, but these are also skills that take time to master. And today we challenge you to put in a little time…

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#listeningtomyheartnotmymind!

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It’s finally over, he broke up with you.
After promising each other countless times that you will never give up on each other finally it all caved in.
Heartbroken you feel broken.
Words can’t put together how disappointed and painful this is.
But you can’t let him see how devastated you are.
You go an act as if everything is okay, played it so well you deserve an Oscar.
To give your facade more credibility, you start to hang with Oscar the guy you told him you’d never date.
You want him to see you happy with a possible candidate If not more
You want to hurt him in revenge, show him you settled for him and could’ve done better
But you didn’t and it’s over with
You don’t see how you’re just prolonging your hurt.
Instead of dealing with the pain you spend most of your time hiding it
Instead of working on yourself, you spend time picking out who you will look best with to piss off your ex
Instead of falling in love with you, you fall into a relationship with no potential
You later on convince yourself that you fell in love when you really found someone who caught you when you were tripping.
Still in pain, still haven’t moved on mentally now you’re jumping from relationships to relationships trying to forget that ex.
When you finally stop trying this so called love race, you finally look back and see how much pain you’ve added to that pain.
Now consumed by inflicted pain, all you can can conclude to is, LOVE IS VAIN

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Things Happy Couples DON’T Do :) <3

Things Happy Couples DON’T Do:

Sometimes, building a solid healthy relationship isn’t just about what partners do, but what they don’t do.

Here are the things that you won’t find in the habits of happy couples.

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Discourage each other.

Two people who love and care for each other would never attempt to discourage their partner or hold them back in life. They encourage and support each other when it comes to chasing after goals and dreams.

Holding someone else back while in a relationship will only lead to resentment in the long run – ironically, loosening your grip often keeps someone closer.

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Play mind games.

Even something as simple as “how long do I wait before I call?” goes out the window when you’re with the right person who is mature and understands you. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There will be no games or manipulation when building a solid foundation for a relationship.

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Doubt each others feelings.

In a happy relationship, both partners know how much they mean to each other. Open communication and affection are important to minimizing insecurities and doubts.

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Stop trying.

You know you’ve found a quality partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them…long after they’ve got you.

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Brush issues under the rug.

No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the challenges you face together are what make you stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. No problem can be extinguished unless it is faced, and couples who care for each other will be mature enough to have mature discussions and reach a conclusion.

When feelings are hidden, the other partner won’t know what they need to do or change in order to keep the other happy, so nothing will improve.

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Snoop around.

One of the key ingredients to a happy relationship is trust, and people who trust each other don’t invade each others’ privacy by snooping around. There should be no need for a password protected phone or deleting your Facebook chat history. Trusting couples should be open books to one another and will have no use for being sneaky.

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Dig up the past.

We all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Some experiences for better, and others for worse. Happy, mature couples understand that about each other and don’t use each others’ pasts as ammunition in arguments or to start issues.

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Let things get stale.

Both inside and outside of the bedroom, it’s important that neither partner gets bored or feels as though things are getting stale. Often times intimacy in the bedroom is actually built outside of it through romantic gestures, showing of appreciation and affection, and always letting your partner know how much they mean to you.

Happiness in relationships is built on communication, trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. These are some of the cornerstones of love – without one, the other cannot exist.

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A Gift of the Heart

If you love someone, let them know.

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It’s easy to take our feelings for granted and to assume that the people we care about know how we feel about them. But while those we love are often quite cognizant of our feelings, saying “I love you” is a gift we should give to our loved ones whenever we can. Letting people know you love them is an important part of nurturing any kind of loving relationship. Few people tire of being told they are loved, and saying “I love you” can make a world of difference in someone’s life, take a relationship to a new level, or reaffirm and strengthen a steady bond. Everyone needs to hear the words “I love you.” Three simple words – I – Love – You. When you declare your love for someone you admit to them that you care for them in the most significant way.

 

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It can be difficult to express your love using words, particularly if you grew up around people that never expressed their affection verbally. But you should never be afraid to say “I love you” or worry that doing so will thrust you into a position of excessive vulnerability. It is important to share your feelings with those that matter to you. Part of the fulfillment that comes with loving someone is telling them that you love them. Besides, love exists to be expressed, not withheld.

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If you love someone, let them know. Don’t be afraid of the strength of your emotions or worry that your loved one won’t feel the same way. Besides, the words “I love you” are often best said to another without expectation of a return investment. As each one of us is filled with an abundance of love, there is never any worry that you’ll run out of love if your expression of love isn’t said back to you. Saying “I love you” is a gift of the heart sent directly via words to the heart of a recipient. Even though it may not always look that way, love from the heart is an offering that is always unconditional and given without strings attached. That is the true essence of the gift of “I love you.”

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6 Reasons Your Relationship is Suffering

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1. Presumed expectations about how someone “should be.”
You don’t love and appreciate someone because they’re perfect, you love and appreciate them in spite of the fact that they are not. “Perfection” is a deadly fantasy – something none of us will ever be. So beware of your tendency to “fix” someone when they’re NOT broken. They are perfectly imperfect, just the way they should be.

Truthfully, the less you expect from someone you care about, the happier your relationship with them will be. No one in your life will act exactly as you hope or expect them to, ever. They are not YOU – they will not love, give, understand or respond like you do.

The biggest disappointments in life and in relationships are the result of misplaced expectations. Tempering unrealistic expectations of how something or someone “should be” will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering.

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2. Searching for the missing pieces of YOU in someone else.
When we’re feeling incomplete, we tend to go out looking for somebody else to complete us. Initially we meet someone who’s compatible with us and they distract us from our deficiency, at least for a while. Then a few months or years into the relationship, we find that we’re still feeling incomplete, so we blame our friend or lover. It feels like they’ve changed, but in reality they haven’t; they’ve just become less of a distraction to our own growing, inner void.

Ultimately what you need to realize is that while a close friend or lover can add beautiful dimensions to your life, YOU are responsible for your own fulfillment. Only you can complete yourself. Nobody else can provide your missing pieces, and to believe otherwise is to succumb to a lifetime of feeling broken, as every relationship you enter eventually ends in hopeless disappointment.

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3. Poor communication.
Perhaps there’s something that really bothers you about your friend or lover. Why aren’t you saying something? Are you afraid they’ll get upset? Maybe they will and maybe they won’t. Either way you need to deal with it upfront, constructively, and avoid burying it until it worsens, festers and explodes out of you.

Great communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship. If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. If you’re feeling jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities. If you have expectations of your friend or lover, you must communicate them clearly. If there are any problems whatsoever, you must get them out of your head and into the open so they can be worked out.

Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication running. Always give the important people in your life the information they need to understand you. And communicate more than just problems – communicate the good things too. Share what you love about your friend or lover. Share what is going on in your mind and heart. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes and dreams.

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4. Little lies that add up.
Anything is better than lies. They are like a cancer in the heart and soul. They eat away what is good and leave only decay and devastation behind. If you spend your life learning to lie to the people around you, not only will you hurt and deceive them, you will also hurt and deceive yourself – you will forget your own truth.

There is perhaps no phenomenon that is more destructive to a relationship than dishonesty, which permits envy, hate and deception to be acted out under the guise of love and virtue. Even the smallest, seemingly innocent lies eventually snowball into larger issues. Stand by the whole truth – your truth – always. If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t and don’t, then DON’T LIE.

It’s always better to tell the whole truth up front. Don’t play games with the minds and hearts of others. Don’t tell half-truths and expect your friends or lover to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies.

Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt. Lying, cheating and messing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Honesty is the healing remedy.

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5. Lack of presence.
Presence is complete awareness, or paying full attention to “the now.” If you do not find at least some amount of presence in the moments you share with those you care about, it is impossible to listen, speak, compromise, or otherwise connect with them on a meaningful level.

Presence is looking inward and learning how to be with yourself, in the moment, see the gears turning, embrace what’s in your immediate vicinity, and thereby put space around destructive thoughts of other times and places, as you apply your full energy to the “here and now.” The idea is that you must first attend to the reality of the moment before you can effectively contribute anything positive to it.

Simply being completely present with someone else is difficult because it requires you to share yourself completely, vulnerabilities and all, and enter a moment of unguarded honesty with this person.

To cultivate your presence, all you need to do is sit quietly for as long as you desire and put your full attention on your breath – thinking only of what each inhale and exhale feels like. Don’t judge or resist your inner-workings. Simply accept and breathe. Practice this a few times a day, and it will start to feel more natural. This way, when you are in the thick of a deep conversation with a friend or partner, you can access that presence and listen without judgment or impatience, speak with clarity, and learn to fully connect and compromise.

Bottom line: Be Present. Give the people you care about your full attention. Let them see they’re own beauty in your eyes. Let them find their own voice through your listening ears. Help them discover their own greatness in your presence.

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6. Some relationships aren’t meant to last.
There are certain people who aren’t meant to fit into your life in the long-term no matter how much you want them to. They pass through your life in a shorter time frame than you had hoped to teach you things they never could have taught you if they stayed.

So many people think friends or lovers have to be the perfect fit, because that’s what everyone tells you to want – that’s the Hollywood love story. Of course, it’s nice when relationships stay healthy and last, but that doesn’t mean your failed relationships aren’t equally as important. Some people you engage with will be like a mirror – people who show you things that are holding you back, people who show you the ways that don’t work, people who bring your insecurities and misjudgments to your own attention so you can change your life.

If these people – the ones who come into your life for a short time and teach you a priceless lesson – that are some of the most important people you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you until you’re wide awake.

Do you want to live with these people in your life forever? No way – that would be way too painful! They come into your life to shake you up, tear apart your ego, flip your perspective, show you your obstacles, break your heart and mind open so new rays of light can shine in, just to reveal another layer of YOU to yourself, and then they move on like they’re supposed to.

Take their lessons as gifts and be sure you move on too.

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