Archive for forgiveness

Things We Forget To Say “Thank You” For…

So that’s what I want to reflect on today – some quick reminders about the things you, too, likely forget to say “thank you” for:

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  1. “Thank you for life’s surprises.” – Notice and cherish life’s surprises.  Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.  So take a deep breath when you’re rejected from something good.  It often means you’re being redirected to something better.  Be patient.  Be positive.  Keep going.

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2. “Thank you for the truth I deal with every day.” – Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths.  But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.  And beware of half-truths too – you may have gotten a hold of the wrong half.  Open your eyes.  You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished or expected them to be.  Sometimes it’s hard to accept the truth when the lies were exactly what you wanted to know, but be strong.  Life is too short to live a lie.

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3. “Thank you for the tough times that taught me important lessons.” – God allows you to experience the low points of life in order to teach you lessons that you could learn no other way.

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4.“Thank you for the challenges I must overcome today.” – The brick walls in life are there for a reason.  They are not there to keep you out.  They are there to give you a chance to show how badly you want something.  Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as you do.  They are there to stop the other people.  There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one step at a time. 

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5. “Thank you for giving me the courage to continue.” – Courage isn’t having the strength to go on; it’s going on even when you don’t have strength.  And remember, it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

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6. “Thank you for giving me the strength to smile.” – Anyone can be happy sometimes.  It takes a human being with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that naturally makes us weep.

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7.“Thank you for the beauty that remains.” – Even when times are really tough, don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.  

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When it’s time to let go

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A lot of people regardless of their sign, believe that holding on, infinitely, are signs of love, courage, and strength. But there are times when it takes a lot more strength to realize when it’s time to let go and actually follow through with it. Not every man/woman or thing is meant to be in our lives forever. Once it’s over, Use that down time to reflect and evaluate you and what you need to be happy, think about the relationship as a whole and what you got from it then move on. You can’t make anyone love you or be a part of your life. What is meant to be will always be. But don’t miss out on “THE ONE” because you are too busy dwelling on the maybe’s and what if’s of yesterday.

A great relationship consist of 2 things. Appreciating what you share in common, and respecting each others differences. Never change because it’s what THEY want or think is best for you. Pretending will only make you miserable in the long run. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone used to be than it is to fill the space of who you used to be.

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ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! Watch for people who tell you what they think you should hear. A persons actions speaks the whole TRUTH. Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. Pay attention because people will reveal themselves slowly!

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today. Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

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Forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. Big challenges prepare ordinary people for extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – either for experience or as a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it. The best thing you can do in most situations is to follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing good will ever happen.

Realize that it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken either. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing stronger means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and circumstances, and finding something different that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what LIVING is all about. Don’t just settle for the default settings in life, when you can customize absolutely everything.

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Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back. Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present. Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place. Let it GO! You must accept the end of something in order to build something new. So close some old doors today. Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere. Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of a new beginning.

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If you feel like you need to let something go, but you simply haven’t been able to do so, know that you’re not alone. Accepting what is, letting go, and moving on are skills that all of us must learn when facing the realities of life, but these are also skills that take time to master. And today we challenge you to put in a little time…

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Think positive and positive things will happen.

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Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Most of what they assume is wrong. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

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Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

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Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

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Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

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Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.

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June thoughts…

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It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough. – Daniell Koepke

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If you’re laying in bed wrapped up in sheets of miserable thought, go to sleep.
If thumbing through old messages only cause your heart to ache and long for something unattainable, erase them.
If it hurts to keep everything you’re feeling bottled up inside, let it out.
If you’re clinging onto someone that doesn’t treat you like you’re worth the world, let them go
Because sometimes we choose to believe that things are only indistinguishable shades of gray when in reality, life is more black and white than it seems.
If you’re unhappy with the way you are living your life,
Change it…..

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It’s such a scary thing giving your heart to someone, because you never know what they’re going to do with it. Let alone, what they’re really doing behind closed doors… The mind is the most private place in the entire world and you’re never going to know what’s going on inside someone’s head, unless they truthfully tell you. So in order to make things work, people need to learn self control first and train their brain to fight temptation before they even think about being in a committed relationship. Discipline may seem painful to some, but later on brings peace to those who are well trained. There is no better luxury than being safe with the person you love. Especially when this person has the ability to break your heart in seconds, but instead chooses to protect. – Melissa Molomo.

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Thoughts to Ponder…

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When you’re struggling and maybe even hard to deal with, that doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness. And if you have the right people in your life, they will know your heart and they will understand.

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I wouldn’t say I’ve changed, but I’ve matured, I’ve learned. My experiences over time have molded me into a different person. I’m not as nice as I used to be. I won’t allow anyone myself to be put in any position to be taken advantage of. I don’t trust everyone and tell them my secrets because most of them can’t wait to hold it against me. I distance myself from negative people because, in the end, they’re only going to leave when I’m no longer of any use to them. If I have changed, it’s because I’ve realized that I’m the only person I can depend on. Learn not to expect much from anyone. It’s better to be surprised than disappointed.

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Don’t put the only keys to your growth and happiness in someone else’s pocket. Relationships are not about authority and obedience; they are agreements of love and respect. You simply can’t live your entire life through someone else’s fantasies. There must be compromise and the space to do what’s right for you, even if someone you care about disagrees. Give, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to loved ones, but don’t lose track of your inner voice in the process. Never apologize for what you feel and what you don’t feel; that’s a betrayal of your truth. No matter how much advice people give you, sometimes you have to feel things out for yourself, make decisions on your own, experience things first hand, and build your own conclusions from the ground up the old fashioned way.

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..that this is LIFE!

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All dreams don’t come true. All dreams aren’t supposed to come true. This is not a dreamland we live in, it is the real world that we are a part of. Lot of motivational books and movies and speakers and thoughts will make you feel like you can achieve anything in this world. Well, its partly true, you truly can go beyond your limits and reach a place you could have never imagined to be at, but, it doesn’t happen at all times, doesn’t happen for everybody, doesn’t happen always. This life and what we achieve in it, is not just dependent on what we do, it is dependent on a thousand other factors, right from our upbringing, to our environment, to our resources, to the chances we get and so much more. Every step of ours is either supported or hindered by all these factors. Where we eventually reach is based on the combined sum of all these factors. It may well be where we exactly wanted to be, but it may well not be not that place.

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This is not a demoralizing status, this is not posted to tell you that you can’t achieve your dreams, this is not to say that we should not aim high and not hope to reach there. This is just posted to tell you to accept life with a pinch of reality, to accept loss when you didn’t expect it, to accept rough patches when you thought it will be smooth sailing all the way, to accept unfairness in what you thought to be an ideal world.

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Do what you want to, try to achieve what you feel like, but don’t get disheartened when you don’t get where you desired, instead make your heart more immune from the very beginning such that it has the power to bear loss and accept uncertainty.

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Helping you get over somebody :)

Statistics have revealed that over 90% people in this world have suffered a heartbreak at one point or the other in their life. Here are some thoughts which might be helpful in helping you get over somebody.

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1. Tell yourself you want to get over the person. The problem more often than not is that you simply don’t want to get over the person, the relationship, the good times, the bad times. Tell your heart to shut up, and tell your mind that you are ready to move on.

2. Trying to be friends with somebody you’ve been in a relationship with works for some people, but in most cases (especially if you have a weak heart), it is a better idea to cut all ties with your friend. No meeting, no talking, no checking out pictures on facebook, no checking with friends to check out what’s happening with the person, no touch at all in short.

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3. Let it all out. Talk to a friend, cry your heart out if you want, write some poetry/ a blog, just let this feeling out of your system. Yes, it hurts even more when you start talking about it, but if you don’t, then it will hurt you some more later.

4. You may feel that drinking or smoking or trying any other intoxicant is helping, but it’s actually not. It is only suppressing the pain further, making you more hateful from within.

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5. Listening to romantic songs/ watching romantic movies / being near mushy things is a strict no no. Change the music, the movies, the sitcoms, all other things that make you want to fall in love some more.

6. Secretly keeping some pictures of the person in your phone/computer even after friends told you to delete them is not such a good idea. Please delete them. Now.(right after you’re done reading the rest)

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7. Wondering how s/he was the one, or wondering how things were perfect between you two, or wondering you two were soulmates will not help. Simply speaking, if s/he was the one, and you two were soulmates , then the relationship wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. It would have just carried on, wouldn’t it? You both are supposed to be at different places in life and with different people moving further.

8. Saying you will not fall in love ever again is a natural consequence of a break up. But then, love happens, you can’t help it, it happens by itself. So don’t feel like you’ll never fall in love again, or don’t tell yourself that you will never find somebody to love you again. Everything can happen.

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9. Finding a new person to love right after a breakup is not the best thing to do. More often than not, what you have with this new person is not love, but the feeling of filling up of empty space that has been created because of your recent breakup. You will want to love this person because it helps you forget the old person, a fact which is true, but can backfire quickly. Love somebody moving ahead, but love somebody for the right reasons, because you like them, or you feel they make you feel special, or because you both have a common goal in life, or because the person is just too lovely not to not love.

10. Meditate. Sounds weird, eh? Love leaves some very strong impressions on life. Ones that are very difficult to get rid of. Meditation, in its original form, or doing anything in life that simply makes you forget everything else about the world and helps you concentrate on that one thing that you are doing is a great form of helping shift your mind from what has happened to something constructive, something creative, and something that helps you calm your mind. Pick up a hobby, get busy in a group which does some work, make new friends, travel, or just do anything that makes you busy on a constant level. You’d have been so busy loving the person before, that the most important thing killing you right now is the loneliness that surrounds you. But it is you who needs to do something about this feeling, by getting busy yourself.

Will this help you to get over the person instantly? No. If falling in love and being in love was a long process, then getting over it is also naturally a long process. But crying and wailing about what happened is definitely not going to make things better. You need to do something to make things better. And by trying to do them, things will definitely get better.

And if you are still wondering why all this happened to you, then just remember that Love always comes with a price tag, and anybody who falls in love needs to pay the price for it one way or the other. Does that mean you stop being in love? No, not at all. Love is a beautiful feeling, be in love, by all mean be in love But learn to accept the entire package and not just the goodness of love.

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