Posts tagged Relationship

…….just a thought about relationships…

It’s sad to say but I’ve never known love in a relationship with a man, only disappointment and hurt. I am so tired. I’ve recognized my fallback girl qualities or to put it another way, (being 2nd best). I’ve gone to therapy, I engage in positive affirmations and I get involved in really living my life…and now I find myself not wanting to be in a relationship with a man. I rarely find one who isn’t… an Ass. Usually in the first couple of dates I recognize the pattern and get the hell out. It’s interesting that I am no longer fascinated by men. They seem soooo superficial. It gets lonely sometimes, as a woman of 30 wanting male companionship is healthy (as my therapist told me) but I’d rather be alone and sane, happy and whole than deal with the heart breaking, mind-altering crap these men bring to one’s life. I still have hope sometimes that a decent emotionally available man will come into my life. In the meantime, I continue to work on me and find happiness and companionship where I can. Peace and love ♥

Be real. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it is a duck. Hanging some lovehearts, a card, a dinner, a gift, some sex, or whatever it is off someone who is unworthy of your time doesn’t change the fact that they’re unworthy of your time. If someone doesn’t value you, it’s a sign that you need to move on. Know your value irrespective of who you’re with – it’ll ensure… that you don’t keep yourself in bad company and you’ll keep your feet firmly in reality. Tempting as it is to get lost in illusions, you will not get a real relationship with someone who is real if you persist. This is why it is important to be authentic so you can have authentic relationships. If you pretend, it’s a disrespect to yourself and potentially also to them. If you’re not treating yourself with love, care, trust and respect and wondering why someone can’t love you for you, look a bit closer to home and make sure you are being you.

Don’t look at being single as that annoying time that passes between crappy relationships. Yeah you’re not in a relationship but at least you’re not in an illusionary one with someone dodgy. Get on with life and enjoy living because being personally secure and not losing your mind over your relationship status will prevent you from operating out of a negative place. Don’t write yourself off – have faith that there is better out there for you and that in the meantime, you’re going to treat you as you want to be treated. In the meantime, tomorrow is a new day, and don’t disregard your feelings. If you want to cry, cry, and then get back up. You’re human, you love, and you want to be loved, but make sure you don’t have a desperate urge to be loved – it attracts ‘desperate’ types of people that exploit your own lack of self-love.

If you spend a lot of time thinking about an old relationship or an ex, or instead, focus on berating yourself, you’re stealing time from you and focusing your energy on the wrong things. Likewise, if you’ll place your bets on other people instead of taking a leap of faith on yourself, you won’t act in your own best interests. You can’t go forward if you’re not getting on with living the life you’…re in now because you’re trying to hold on to something that has already passed by and was potentially making you miserable.

Keep challenging yourself to be honest. Keep challenging yourself to see things as they are instead of how you thought they were, or how you’d like them to be. Ask yourself what your part is in things, not because you should be blaming yourself, but because we are all accountable for where we are, especially when we keep finding ourselves in the same patterns. Ask yourself what you don’t want to think or talk about – and then think and talk about it. Ask yourself what you’ve been avoiding doing and evaluate whether you should actually be doing it. Be willing to hear and be willing to ask the uncomfortable questions that prevent you from getting lost in illusions.

Treat yourself like a valuable friend who you trust to act in your best interests, even though it means that at times you’ll make uncomfortable decisions that work in the favour of the greater good of yourself. Wake up! Many of us are sleeping on the job – coasting through life, letting life and relationships ‘happen’ to us and thinking that it must be ‘fate’ and what we want. We’re relying on staying as we are and hoping that life turns in our favour. Raise the alarm, set it, and keep setting it every day because if you want something different to what you’ve had, you’ve got to live life differently and be different to what you’ve been. That doesn’t mean fundamentally changing who you are – it’s recognising that relationship insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

Advertisements

Leave a comment »

I Promise Myself…

Leave a comment »

“The Past – Holding On- Letting Go”..


“The Past – Holding On – Letting Go”..

..

Holding on to the past is trying to

breathe life into a play which is closed.

It is struggling to raise the curtain

in a dark theatre, on a dusty stage,

by ourselves.

The other players have left.

The stage in empty.

It is going over our everyone’s lines,

long since said,

playing all the parts – alone.

It is being stuck.

..

It is entrapment in a time warp.

The costumes no longer fit.

The buttons have popped.

We are different people today

but we still force the action.

It is a brutal attack on ourselves,

because we become, on this stage,

both the victim and the attacker.

..

..

We don’t forgive ourselves………...

We get caught in the “if onlies,”

hanging on to dreams

which did not come true,

losses – a loved person who has died,

an unhappy childhood,

a love affair which did not

end happily ever after,

a youth gone –

opportunities which have disappeared.

The game is over,

but we are bad sports.

We refuse to accept defeat.

We run the tape over and over.

We can put it on rewind but we

can’t get into the movie anymore.

..

..

Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of

many wonderful books,

likens it to our holding on

to the bars of a cage.

..

..

We rattle them,

desperately trying to get free.

But the bars are just in front of us.

If we look to the right,

to the left or behind us,

there are no bars.

All we have to do is turn

around and walk away.

We are looking for love in that past.

.

A cry that was not answered,

a unhappy childhood,

that lover who left,

that job to validate us.

We wanted to feel safe,

wanted, worthwhile.

Yet we know that we cannot

infuse love into what is gone.

We can only give and receive love now.

We have shackled ourselves in bondage.

It is time to walk away from the cage.

..

..

The past is not holding us.

We are holding it.

Picture all your past relationships,

now lifeless forms,

hanging on hooks in a closet.

The closet goes with you

wherever you go.

The relationships are part of you –

they have made up your experience –

but you are no longer part of them.

Although you carry them with you,

you can no longer breathe

life into them.

They are your past.

You can open the closet door

and look at the array.

..

But, if you take them out

and try to carry them around,

they are a heavy and unnecessary burden.

Bits and pieces are pinned on these hanging

forms as progress is made

through forgiveness.

And, it is possible that you may

meet again in the present,

but it will always be a new relationship.

You travel with your closet,

filling it more and more each day.

But it is carried for you.

There is no need for you

to put it on your back.

You cannot lose it because it is

the summation of who you are.

But it no longer applies to your present

except as experience and learning.

These are the records of your life

and of your heart.

It is up to you to decide to

keep the door closed,

or to live within the boundaries

of a closet.

We can’t put the past on rewind.

The buttons are stuck.

The actors have gone on to other roles.

The set has been dismantled.

The movie is over.

..

~Corinne Edwards..

“…and here we are again

the door is closed behind us

and the long road lies ahead

where do we go from here

it’s time to make a change

lets trace the problem

to its source

no more riding the waves

on a river that’s run its course

I stood at the door

to a new beginning

two choices before me

and I was afraid

tied to a fading memory

of something lost in time

afraid to make the change

scared to leave the past behind

the future called

and frightened I turned away

we stand at the door

to a new beginning

two choices before us

don’t be afraid

close your eyes, forget the fear

leave the past behind…”

..

..

In order to be free,

we must learn how to let go.

Release the hurt.

Release the fear.

Refuse to entertain your old pain.

The energy it takes to hang onto

the past is holding you back

from a new life.

So many people today are living

below their God-given potential.

They’ve put their dreams on hold

because of disappointments.. or setbacks.

But God doesn’t want us to spend

a single moment living in regret

or condemnation.

He doesn’t want us to settle for mediocrity,

He wants us to make the most

out of every moment of our lives.

He promises to make all things new.

He promises to restore everything the

enemy has stolen from us.

..

..

There are only two responses we can have:

internalize the anger and become bitter

or let go!

Bitterness only closes our hands,

not to let go the past and keep replaying

past memory tapes of us

being done wrong.

Most of all bitterness keeps us from

grabbing hold to the blessing in front

of us all because we are afraid

to let go the negativity of the past.

I wish I could tell you that if you

let go you will not be hurt again

but that is not true.

But I can tell you

if you do not let go,

you will not feel the joy that you

will gain more out of life.

..

..

It’ is ok…...

..

….to Let Go!..

..

We are the ones who have to

make the decision to let go

of the past so we can make

the most of today.

We have to choose to keep

moving forward one step at a time.

When you choose to walk in forgiveness,

you are making the most of your life.

When you reach out to help others,

you are making the most of your life.

When you give of your time, talent,

and resources to build the kingdom of God,

you are making the most of your life.

..

..

Choose today to let go of the past

so you can embrace every opportunity

the Lord has in store for your future!

..

..

“For a human being to be transformed

and to transcend all imperfections

and limitations, the past has to die.

Everyone has the capacity to do this,

provided they have the right determination.

Forget who you were or

what you may have done in the past.

Focus on what you would like to be,

and then, while you are doing

whatever is necessary to attain the goal,

let go of the future as well.

..

..

Who or what you may have been

until now is of little importance.

The past can be compared to a graveyard,

and it wouldn’t be wise to live

in such a place, would it?

Forget your past.

Remember it only when you really

need to do so,

but don’t settle down in it.”

~ Amma, “Awaken Children!”..

Leave a comment »

Life Without Stress

Life  Without Stress

That we live in an extremely stressful environment

is  abundantly evident.  However, stress is nothing new -

 it's been  around since the beginning. Robert Louis

Stevenson made these  suggestions over 100 years ago:

 Make up your mind to be  happy -

learn to find pleasure in simple things.



 Make the best of circumstances.

No  one has everything and everyone

 has something of sorrow.



 Don't take yourself too seriously.



 Don't let criticism worry you -

you  can't please everybody.

Don't let your neighbors set  your standards -

be yourself.



 Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of  debt.



 Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things

are harder to bear than  actual ones.



 Since hate poisons the soul,

don't  cherish enmities and grudges.

Avoid people who make you unhappy.



 Have many interests. If you can't travel,

read  about places.



 Don't hold post-mortems or spend time

 brooding over sorrows and mistakes.



Don't be the one who never gets over  things.



Keep busy at something.

A very busy  person never has

 time to be unhappy.



Times haven't changed -

Relax and  have a wonderful day!

Today and all days-

Always - in all  ways!




Leave a comment »

Hold On Tightly

Hold On Tightly



Hold on to faith; it is the source of

believing that all things are possible.

It is fiber and strength of a confident soul.
Hold on to hope; it banishes doubt and

enables attitudes to be positive and cheerful.

Hold on to trust; it is at the core of fruitful

relationships that are secure and content.

Hold on to love; it is life's greatest gift of all,

for it shares, cares, and gives meaning to life.

Hold on to family and friends;

they are the most important people in your life,

and they make the world a better place.

They are your roots and the beginnings

that you grew from; they are the vine

that has grown through time to nourish you,

help you on your way,

and always remain close by.
Hold on to all that you are and

all that you have learned,

for these things are what make you unique.
Don't ignore what you feel and what you

believe is right and important;

your heart has a way of speaking

louder than your mind.
Hold on to your dreams;

achieve them diligently and honestly.

Never take the easy way or surrender to deceit.

Remember others on your way and take

time to care for their needs.
Enjoy the beauty around you.

Have the courage to see things

differently and clearly.
Make the world a better place one day at a time,

and don't let go of the important things

that give meaning to your life.












Leave a comment »

New Beginnings…

New Beginnings



It’s only the beginning now

…a pathway yet unknown

At times the sound

of other steps

…sometimes we walk alone

The best beginnings

of our lives

May sometimes end in sorrow

But even on our darkest days

The sun will shine tomorrow.



So we must do our very best

Whatever life may bring

And look beyond the winter chill

To smell the breath of spring.

Into each life will always come

A time to start anew

A new beginning

for each heart

As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares of life are great

And heads are bowed so low

The storms of life

will leave behind

The wonder of a rainbow.


The years will never take away

Our chance to start anew

It’s only the beginning now

So dreams can still come true.

….by Gertrude B. McClain


At times I’m so discouraged with problems of the day,

I fail to see THE JOYFUL THINGS

that are along the way;

When troubles overwhelm me

it’s then my nerves may fray,

that’s when I need to take the time to simply

sit and pray; I must try to remember

though problems come my way,

not to miss THE JOYFUL THINGS

and the beauty of the day.

— Author Unknown


Leave a comment »

Letting People Know You Love Them

It’s easy to take our feelings for granted

and to assume that the people we care about

know how we feel about them.

But while those we love

are often quite cognizant of our feelings,

saying “I love you” is a gift we should give

 
 

Letting people know you love them

is an important part of nurturing

any kind of loving relationship.

Few people tired of being told they are loved,

and saying “I love you”

can make a world of difference in someone’s life,

take a relationship to a new level,

or reaffirm and strengthen a steady bond.

Everyone needs to hear the words “I love you.”

Three simple words – I – Love – You.




When you declare your love for someone

you admit to them that you care for them

in the most significant way.

It can be difficult to express your love using words,

particularly if you grew up around people

that never expressed their affection verbally.

But you should never be afraid to say “I love you”

or worry that doing so will thrust you

into a position of excessive vulnerability.


It is important to share your feelings

with those that matter to you.

Part of the fulfillment that comes

with loving someone is telling them that you love them.

Besides, love exists to be expressed, not withheld.

If you love someone, let them know.

Don’t be afraid of the strength of your emotions

or worry that your loved one won’t feel the same way.


 
 
 

Besides, the words "I love you"

are often best said to another without expectation

of a return investment.

As each one of us is filled

with an abundance of love,

there is never any worry
that you’ll run out of love

if your expression of love isn’t said back to you.

Saying, “I love you” is a gift of the heart

sent directly via words to the heart of a recipient.



Even though it may not always look that way,

love from the heart is an offering

that is always unconditional

and given without strings attached.

That is the true essence of the gift of “I love you.”

What do you think?

 

 

Leave a comment »