You don’t have to swallow your tears. You don’t have to hide how you feel or ignore your pain. You have to give yourself a hug, look yourself in the eyes, and say, I’m sad and I’m angry and I’m hurting. And you know what? That’s okay. My feelings are valid. I’m not broken or crazy. I’m wounded. But I can heal. And I’m going to be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow or a week from now, but sometime soon, this is going to pass.
The decision to forgive may come fairly quickly but working through the pain and grief takes time. It isn’t that working through the pain means you haven’t forgiven, it means you are prepared to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your damaged emotions before you heal and move on.
And until it does, I’m going to keep taking care of myself. I’m going to eliminate the negative voice in the back of my head making me feel small and speak to myself with kindness. I’m going to let myself feel my feelings and do self-care. And I’m going to treat myself like a friend. Because if there’s anyone who deserves my love and affection, it’s ME.