If today was it, would you die knowing you did your best?
If tomorrow never came, would you be proud of the last thing you said to each person you love?
If “someday” was only “now,” would you do everything you’ve always put off?
If you knew you had a choice about what kind of life you could be living, would you choose different?
If you knew failure is impossible, what would you do?
If it were true that everyone you meet is you in another body, how would you treat them?
If love was the true currency of the Universe and the more you gave away the more you received, how would you spend it?
If fear were the biggest illusion and the greatest lie of all time, how would you choose to live your life?
If the Universe always supported a life lived towards achieving dreams, how big would you dream?
Things Happy Couples DON’T Do:
Sometimes, building a solid healthy relationship isn’t just about what partners do, but what they don’t do.
Here are the things that you won’t find in the habits of happy couples.
Discourage each other.
Two people who love and care for each other would never attempt to discourage their partner or hold them back in life. They encourage and support each other when it comes to chasing after goals and dreams.
Holding someone else back while in a relationship will only lead to resentment in the long run – ironically, loosening your grip often keeps someone closer.
Play mind games.
Even something as simple as “how long do I wait before I call?” goes out the window when you’re with the right person who is mature and understands you. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There will be no games or manipulation when building a solid foundation for a relationship.
Doubt each others feelings.
In a happy relationship, both partners know how much they mean to each other. Open communication and affection are important to minimizing insecurities and doubts.
You know you’ve found a quality partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them…long after they’ve got you.
Brush issues under the rug.
No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the challenges you face together are what make you stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. No problem can be extinguished unless it is faced, and couples who care for each other will be mature enough to have mature discussions and reach a conclusion.
When feelings are hidden, the other partner won’t know what they need to do or change in order to keep the other happy, so nothing will improve.
One of the key ingredients to a happy relationship is trust, and people who trust each other don’t invade each others’ privacy by snooping around. There should be no need for a password protected phone or deleting your Facebook chat history. Trusting couples should be open books to one another and will have no use for being sneaky.
Dig up the past.
We all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Some experiences for better, and others for worse. Happy, mature couples understand that about each other and don’t use each others’ pasts as ammunition in arguments or to start issues.
Let things get stale.
Both inside and outside of the bedroom, it’s important that neither partner gets bored or feels as though things are getting stale. Often times intimacy in the bedroom is actually built outside of it through romantic gestures, showing of appreciation and affection, and always letting your partner know how much they mean to you.
Happiness in relationships is built on communication, trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. These are some of the cornerstones of love – without one, the other cannot exist.
Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Most of what they assume is wrong. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.
Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.
Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.
Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.
Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.
Remember What Is Most Important. . .
It’s not having everything go right ;
it’s facing whatever goes wrong.
It’s not being without fear ;
it’s having the determination to go on in spite of it.
It’s not where you stand,
but the direction you’re going in.
It’s more than never having bad moments;
it’s knowing you are always bigger than the moment.
It’s believing you have already been given everything
you need to handle life.
It’s not being able to rid
the world of all its injustices;
it’s being able to rise above them.
It’s the belief in your heart
that there will always be
more good than bad in the world.
It’s remembering that every day ends
and brings a new tomorrow
full of exciting new things.
It’s loving what you do
and doing the best you can.
You don’t have to swallow your tears. You don’t have to hide how you feel or ignore your pain. You have to give yourself a hug, look yourself in the eyes, and say, I’m sad and I’m angry and I’m hurting. And you know what? That’s okay. My feelings are valid. I’m not broken or crazy. I’m wounded. But I can heal. And I’m going to be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow or a week from now, but sometime soon, this is going to pass.
The decision to forgive may come fairly quickly but working through the pain and grief takes time. It isn’t that working through the pain means you haven’t forgiven, it means you are prepared to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your damaged emotions before you heal and move on.
And until it does, I’m going to keep taking care of myself. I’m going to eliminate the negative voice in the back of my head making me feel small and speak to myself with kindness. I’m going to let myself feel my feelings and do self-care. And I’m going to treat myself like a friend. Because if there’s anyone who deserves my love and affection, it’s ME.